Bronto Scorpio
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
19
   |
Posted - 2013.07.15 17:01:00 -
[1] - Quote
Ok, so this isn't really a pirate story, even though it has massive rage, tears, and lulz, and I wasn't going to post it, until I logged in today and saw a lulzy contact notification, so here it is.
The story of THE RAGER and his Mighty Armor Rattlesnake
So I log in to get my standings up farming missions so I can join FW and pseudo-yarr, when two fellow NPC corpies start talking about mission pimp ships, one of them, who shall be referred to as THE RAGER for the rest of this story mentions his rattlesnake.
[ 2013.07.14 16:14:10 ] Corpie 1 > THE RAGER - You fly a Rattlesnake?
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:14:13 ] THE RAGER > yea#
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:14:28 ] Corpie 1 > pve?
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:14:32 ] THE RAGER > yup
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:14:39 ] THE RAGER > always
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:14:45 ] Corpie 1 > You mind to share your fitting?
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:14:52 ] THE RAGER > hang on Corpie 1
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:14:59 ] Corpie 1 > k
[ 2013.07.14 16:15:04 ] THE RAGER > XT-110A* atm
*This was obviously in-game drag and drop fit so here is the EFT format:
[Rattlesnake, XT-110A]
Shield Power Relay II
Shield Power Relay II
Shield Power Relay II
Shield Power Relay II
Shield Power Relay II
Large Armor Repairer II
Large Shield Extender II
Large Shield Extender II
Adaptive Invulnerability Field I
Shield Recharger II
Shield Recharger II
Shield Recharger II
Shield Recharger II
'Arbalest' Cruise Launcher I, Mjolnir Cruise Missile
'Arbalest' Cruise Launcher I, Mjolnir Cruise Missile
'Arbalest' Cruise Launcher I, Mjolnir Cruise Missile
'Arbalest' Cruise Launcher I, Mjolnir Cruise Missile
Small Tractor Beam I
Small Tractor Beam I
Large Core Defense Field Purger I
Large Core Defense Field Purger I
Large Core Defense Field Purger I
Ogre I x10
Mining Drone I x5
Salvage Drone I x5
I look at fit fit, being curious and notice the low-slot, wondering if there is a genuine reason for it or he is simply misguided, I ask him.
[ 2013.07.14 16:15:04 ] THE RAGER > XT-110A atm
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:15:17 ] THE RAGER > could get a Target Spectrum Breaker instead of a Large Shield Extender II tho
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:15:30 ] Bronto Scorpio > LAR2 on rattlesnake?
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:15:34 ] Corpie 2 > LOL
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:15:37 ] THE RAGER > what
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:15:40 ] Corpie 2 > that armor repper
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:15:40 ] THE RAGER > get over it bronto
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:15:42 ] Corpie 3 > hahahaa
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:15:55 ] Bronto Scorpio > lol get over it? it was a question,, umad
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:15:58 ] THE RAGER > every single ship i have every flown i have a repair on!
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:16:10 ] THE RAGER > an armour repair on...every single ship
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:16:15 ] Corpie 1 > moentarely I fly a Golem and CNR
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:16:21 ] THE RAGER > gratz
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:16:30 ] Corpie 1 > next ship would be a Rattle
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:16:30 ] Corpie 3 > if i put a bounty on THE RAGER will it send me a mail when that s**t box goes down?
At this point the conversation takes a sudden, and hilarious, turn.
[ 2013.07.14 16:16:51 ] THE RAGER > WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU?! YOU STUPID DISGUSTING SL*T!
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:16:54 ] Corpie 2 > can we get enough ppl in catalysts and gank him?
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:16:59 ] Bronto Scorpio > hopefully
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:17:02 ] Corpie 2 > and here we go again :D
[ 2013.07.14 16:17:25 ] THE RAGER > well done **** up!
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:17:45 ] THE RAGER > IF my shield happend to get broken atleast i have an armour rep. every ship needs 1.
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:18:17 ] Corpie 3> oh yea that armor repairer will be your saving grace, your unkillable now
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:18:31 ] THE RAGER > that stupid **** deserves to get raped, get cervical cancer... and rot from inside!
At this point I hop on the IGB to look at his battleclinic killboard for teh lulz, and what do I find?
Him in a Stealth Bomber and an associate of his in a Cynabal, killing a minmatar shuttle, now I don't care about the backstory of that particular KM, it was lol enough to link into corp that to provide more rage
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:18:36 ] Bronto Scorpio > http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/(Unsure if I'm allowed to link KMs)
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:19:01 ] Corpie 1 > nice fitting:p
[ 2013.07.14 16:19:08 ] THE RAGER > you ignorant **** shooting a shuttle!
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:19:17 ] Bronto Scorpio > with a SB and cynabal lmao
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:19:22 ] Corpie 4 > why swear?
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:19:25 ] Corpie 1 > lol, well it's still a game
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:19:33 ] THE RAGER > think so chrit
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:19:37 ] Corpie 5 > yes chri
Trolling through his KB for more lulz I found another gem:
It consisted of him losing a T1M0 fit Malediction to a rifter
[ 2013.07.14 16:19:55 ] Bronto Scorpio > oh that isnt as good as this
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:19:57 ] THE RAGER > what is this? i dont remember shooting anyone
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:20:00 ] Bronto Scorpio > KM LINK
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:20:02 ] Corpie 4 > THE RAGER I think you can put damange module instead of your armor repairer and put on medium this : Large Micro Jump Drive to save you ass
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:20:27 ] THE RAGER > save me from what?
n++[ 2013.07.14 16:20:30 ] Corpie 2 > damn he deserves some bounty
On the bounty note, he eventually went from having 0 ISK bounty at time of linking the fit, to ~600m bounty 20 minutes later. |